PARIS – This evening, in what is easily the most stunning development in America’s war on terror, Boy Scouts from Troop 320 of Manchester, Md. staged a daring preemptive strike on France.
Details are sketchy but the lightening fast operation, lasting all of 5 hours, stunned France and the world. “Our troop hit the ground at just after noon and we raised Ol’ Glory before dinner.” said beaming Troop Leader Alex Ledsinger adding “We didn’t even have all 15 of the boys with us. The Stevens boys couldn’t make the trip due to conduct problems at school this year.”
Americans, and likely the French, are anxiously awaiting comments from President Bush amid rumors that the raid was not planned by the U.S. government. One shaken administration official, who asked not to be identified, said “Uh we are trying to find ways to leverage this uh development in a way thats fair to uh a uh liberated France and U.S. interests.”
Privately the Boy Scouts themselves expressed surprise at the events. “We were supposed to meet the French President, or whatever they call it, and take our picture with him and he was all like waving his arms in the air and begging for mercy.” according to Josh Perlman, 13, adding “It was weird but our Troop Leader told us to just go with it.”
For now at least, Troop Leader Alex Ledsinger isn’t talking. “We’ll stay on the ground until we can peacefully transfer power to General James L. Jones of EUCOM. I’ll comment further after I get these boys back home.”